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Gregory Kirschling

Gregory Kirschling's reviews only count toward the Tomatometer® when published at Tomatometer-approved publication(s).
Publications:

Reviews

Movies TV Shows
Saw V (2008) 13% C- EDIT “Saw V is dead on the table.” – Entertainment Weekly Oct 24, 2008 Full Review Pride and Glory (2008) 35% B+ EDIT “A tightly acted and emotionally bruising corrupt-cop family drama that feels like the kind of serious, slow-burn NYPD movie nobody -- not even Lumet -- makes anymore.” – Entertainment Weekly Oct 22, 2008 Full Review Fear(s) of the Dark (2007) 72% C EDIT “Six graphic artists contribute tales of gloom, but only one -- about a boy and his insect-infested girlfriend, drawn by distinctive American artist Charles Burns (Black Hole) -- gets under your skin.” – Entertainment Weekly Oct 22, 2008 Full Review The Express (2008) 63% B- EDIT “Has Dennis Quaid really never played a college football coach before? With his handsome, craggy face and likable intensity, he was born for the job.” – Entertainment Weekly Oct 8, 2008 Full Review My Best Friend's Girl (2008) 14% C EDIT “The actors (especially Alec Baldwin, as Tank's horndog dad) elevate the material slightly, but such piffle will just fill you with longing... for a better movie.” – Entertainment Weekly Sep 19, 2008 Full Review Lakeview Terrace (2008) 44% C- EDIT “Unfortunately, Jackson is the best thing here.
 The rest of Lakeview is cravenly engineered to make Wilson's squishy liberal hero a man, and the only surprise is that Neil LaBute directed it for hire.” – Entertainment Weekly Sep 17, 2008 Full Review Tyler Perry's the Family That Preys (2008) 54% C+ EDIT “As usual, the villains are very bad, and the good guys are very noble -- until they get mad and clock their wives.” – Entertainment Weekly Sep 15, 2008 Full Review The Longshots (2008) 41% B- EDIT “The most surprising thing about the inspirational sports movie The Longshots is not that there isn't already an inspirational sports movie with that exact name. The big shock is that the director Fred Durst -- and he doesn't do half bad.” – Entertainment Weekly Aug 28, 2008 Full Review The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 (2008) 66% B+ EDIT “Even cynics might concede that, again, four capable actresses have pulled off a relatively rare thing: They've convinced us they're an honest-to-God movie sisterhood.” – Entertainment Weekly Aug 6, 2008 Full Review Chaos Theory (2007) 30% C EDIT “Chaos Theory peddles the usual carpe diem movie bunk.” – Entertainment Weekly Apr 24, 2008 Full Review Dark Matter (2007) 41% C- EDIT “Liu Ye is too inexpressive for his role's demands, and the movie doesn't build to his downfall: It just zaps itself there.” – Entertainment Weekly Apr 16, 2008 Full Review Doomsday (2008) 50% C EDIT “[Director] Marshall cribs whole sections from other movies (Aliens and The Road Warrior, most blatantly) so baldly that you have to wonder how he'd like it if someone ripped off The Descent this egregiously.” – Entertainment Weekly Mar 19, 2008 Full Review Never Back Down (2008) 21% D EDIT “Movie is dopey. And with its emphasis on stupid violence, xylophone abs, and getting yourself on YouTube, it's yet another product that makes you feel bad about today's youth culture.” – Entertainment Weekly Mar 19, 2008 Full Review Step Up 2 the Streets (2008) 29% B- EDIT “It doesn't skimp on cool pretzel moves.” – Entertainment Weekly Feb 13, 2008 Full Review Day Zero (2007) 24% C EDIT “As the pals, Elijah Wood, Jon Bernthal, and especially Chris Klein mope around noncommittally, as if it were an upcoming trip to the in-laws' they were dreading -- not a potentially one-way ticket to a war zone.” – Entertainment Weekly Jan 17, 2008 Full Review What Would Jesus Buy? (2007) 56% B- EDIT “If Gary Busey ever played Elmer Gantry, he'd look like Reverend Billy, the real-life fire-and-brimstone preacher who embarks ''on a mission to save Christmas from overconsumption."” – Entertainment Weekly Nov 28, 2007 Full Review Martian Child (2007) 35% C+ EDIT “The problem with Martian Child is that it wants to be a story about outcasts, but Dennis doesn't come off as a cute little rebel.” – Entertainment Weekly Oct 31, 2007 Full Review The Comebacks (2007) 10% F EDIT “The Comebacks is probably the worst movie that's sludged across my professional eyeballs -- worse than Daddy Day Camp, Baby Geniuses 2, and BloodRayne.” – Entertainment Weekly Oct 24, 2007 Full Review Weirdsville (2007) 56% B- EDIT “Half-funny and half-obvious, Weirdsville gets a little tiresomely silly, but Bentley still has a glare that burns through metal, and his rapport with Speedman is agreeable.” – Entertainment Weekly Oct 17, 2007 Full Review The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising (2007) 13% C- EDIT “A movie that should've been made shortly after its source material -- Susan Cooper's Newbery winner -- debuted in 1973. As is, it feels entirely too generic to work today.” – Entertainment Weekly Oct 10, 2007 Full Review I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With (2006) 73% B EDIT “Garlin's the first director to really exploit the menace behind Silverman's funny-hot-chick persona; if only for a scene or two, the results cut surprisingly deep.” – Entertainment Weekly Sep 5, 2007 Full Review Romance & Cigarettes (2005) 53% C- EDIT “With Walken around, hair up high, of course there are fleeting moments of fascinating weirdness, but even then, you're still moderately embarrassed for the cast.” – Entertainment Weekly Sep 5, 2007 Full Review Exiled (2006) 80% C EDIT “One of those wearisome Hong Kong action movies where characters engage in Mexican standoffs not so much to ratchet up excitement or generate tension but rather to look cool for as long as possible.” – Entertainment Weekly Aug 29, 2007 Full Review Daddy Day Camp (2007) 1% D EDIT “Because he's an Oscar winner with a rep now for headlining turkeys, watching Cuba Gooding Jr. in trash like Daddy Day Camp almost hurts.” – Entertainment Weekly Aug 9, 2007 Full Review Bratz (2007) 10% C- EDIT “M&M-colored high school fantasia for aspirational 10- and 12-year-old girls who'll be shocked (or, hopefully, delighted) when they get to ninth grade and find out life isn't so super-Bratz-fabulous.” – Entertainment Weekly Aug 2, 2007 Full Review
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